Link's Crazy Mall Adventure
by PeachGirl78
Summary: Link is forced to go to the mall with Peach, Zelda, and some other Super Smash Brothers Brawl Characters. Hilarity ensues. Rated T for occasional swearing here and there.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone ^_^ Since school is letting out soon (this week, actually) and I've got more free time than I know what to do with, I thought that I might try to write a fanfiction! This is my first fanfiction that I've ever published to this site! I hope you enjoy. I really like Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and I've read some fanfics about the characters just doing some silly stuff together rather than fighting. I liked it a lot, so I wanted to try writing one of my own. The title says it all, basically. Hopefully the way I perceive how the SSBB characters live together and stuff becomes obvious as the story progresses, but I might explain some stuff in the author's note in the next chapter.**

**Anyway, sorry for the long AN. Enjoy the fic!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"There is no way in Hell you are making me get on that bus."

Peach frowned. Zelda angrily reached over and violently pinched Link's ear. "Ow, ow, ow!" he shouted, "Hey! Watch the piercing!"

"You are coming with us to the mall whether you like it or not," said Zelda.

"Besides," added Peach, "it'll be fun! You never know what kinds of cool things you can find at the mall!"

"Easy for you to say," Link grunted, "You're a girl."

Link suddenly felt something approach his side. He yelped as he was greeted by the sight of Samus's gun pointed directly at him. "Excuse me?" she said from behind.

"N-Nothing!" Link squeaked quickly.

Samus put the gun away and walked towards the Smash Bus. "That's what I thought," she said before boarding, "I think it'd be in your best interest to listen to Peach and Zelda and come to the mall." Samus motioned to the gun and boarded the bus.

Peach turned to join her. "Whatever. You can choose whether to come with the rest of us or face the wrath of Samus's deadly weaponry, I don't care."

Zelda released Link's pointed ear and followed her friend onto the bus after leaving the Hylian with a bitter glare. Link rubbed his poor, sore ear and sighed. "I guess I have no choice, huh...?"

The bus driver honked. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Link shouted, and he grumpily stepped onto the Smash Bus.

* * *

Link scanned the bus for an open seat. Peach, Zelda, and Samus were giggling in a three-seater near the back, probably about him. Marth and Ike were still standing at a two-seater in the front, arguing over who got to sit in the window seat. Link definitely wanted to avoid sitting near both groups. He settled for the empty seat he spotted in the middle.

After awkwardly shimmying past Marth and Ike, he plopped down in the empty seat and prepared himself for a very long day.

"Hiya!"

Link jumped and turned to where the voice had come from. Pit the angel boy was grinning at him in the seat next to him.

"Are you okay?" Pit asked, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm fine," said Link, trying to sound as nice as possible (which was pretty difficult due to the way his day was going so far.)

"Oh. Okay!" piped the angel.

Oh, great. Here Link was, trapped on the stupid Smash Bus headed to the stupid mall, and now he was trapped next to Pit of all people for the hour-and-a-half-long bus-ride.

Now, Pit was a pretty nice guy in Link's opinion. It wasn't like he was mean or anything. He was a pretty good fighter, too, and Link often found himself impressed with the angel's sharp fighting skills. But there was just something about him that made Link...uncomfortable. Maybe it was his weird wings or his funny-looking crown thing. Or perhaps it was the way he often talked to himself and the way he called himself "Lady Pauletena" when he did. Either way, there was just something...off about Pit that made Link feel strange.

"Is...everything okay...?" Pit asked with a cocked brow. Link turned red when he realized that he had been staring at Pit while he was thinking.

"Uh," Link replied awkwardly, "Yeah. I just...thought I saw something outside. Nothing important."

"Oh," said Pit skeptically, "Okay then..."

Link slumped in his seat. He reminded himself again that this was going to be a very long day.

* * *

**And there you have it: chapter 1 ^_^ Sorry it's so short! I tried my best. I promise that I'll make chapter 2 longer! I hope that the writing/grammar/spelling is okay. Feel free to correct me if I got something wrong. This is only my first fic, so please no mean comments! Critique and advice is welcomed and appreciated, though!**

**Stay tuned for chapter 2 :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiii! Sorry again for the shortness of the last chapter. This one is a little longer, though! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Marth and Ike were practically trying to kill each other at this point. "Just let me sit in the stupid window seat, Marth!" shouted Ike, violently tugging on Marth's hair.

"No way!" yelled Marth, slapping at Ike's arm, "I need the sunshine! Otherwise my complexion won't appear to glow naturally!"

"What the hell does that even mean?" said Ike angrily. He lunged towards Marth, toppling him onto the seat. He reached out his arms and tried to choke him. Marth struggled to keep Ike's hands away from his neck.

"Would you two quit making out and buckle your God damn seatbelts?" shouted Fox from the back of the bus. Marth and Ike turned to face the bus driver glaring right at them.

"Whatever," said Ike, "Just take the stupid window seat so your stupid face can look pretty or something."

"Hmph," was Marth's only reply. He slid over to the seat near the window and crossed his arms, refusing to look at Ike. Ike did the same.

Everyone cheered as the bus finally got moving and pulled out of Smash Manor. "W-Wait! Wait for me!" shouted Captain Falcon, who was darting out of the Manor, "You guys didn't tell me you were going to the mall!"

"NOBODY LIKES YOU, CAPTAIN FALCON!" Peach cried out the window, and the bus sped away, leaving the racer behind.

"No! But I wanted to go to the mall, too..." said Falcon sadly as he watched the bus depart until it disappeared from sight, "I guess I'll just have to find a way to get there..."

* * *

After about 10 minutes of pure boredom, Pit suggested that he and Link play I Spy to pass the time. Link agreed, since there wasn't much else to do.

"I spy something that is..." said Pit, "green!"

Link slumped in his seat a little more. "Is it grass?"

"Nope!"

"What do you mean it's not grass?" asked Link, "The only thing outside the bus is tons and tons of grass!"

Pit gave Link a clever wink. "Yeah. _Outside_ the bus, that is."

Link suddenly felt very stupid. "Oh. Right."

He scanned the bus for green things. His eye caught Yoshi, who was sputtering some nonsensical Yoshi words to Pikachu. "Is it Yoshi?" he asked.

"No. Try again!"

Link turned around and peeked at the back of the bus from his seat. Falco was throwing up out the window. Link cringed. "Is it Falco's carsickness?"

"Ew!" cried Pit, "No way, that's gross!"

"But I don't see any other green things on the bus," said Link.

Pit chuckled. "Are you sure?"

Link looked down. He suddenly felt even more stupid. "Oh. It's me, isn't it?"

"You got it!" Pit chirped, "Man, you aren't too good at this game, are you?"

"Cut me some slack. I don't usually play silly road trip games."

"They're not silly. They're fun!" said Pit, "Whatever. Now it's your turn."

Link browsed the Smash Bus for something that would stump Pit for sure. He couldn't let himself be bested by someone like Pit, after all. "I spy..." he began. Then Link spotted the perfect target. "something that is blue."

Pit peeked over the seat in front of them. "But there's so many blue things!"

"Sorry, but I'm only thinking of one."

Pit growled and took a good look at the surroundings.

"Um, the sky?"

"No."

"How about Meta Knight's cape?"

"Nope."

"Sonic's...er...self?"

"Nuh-uh."

Pit turned around. "Peach's button thing?

"Wrong again."

"Link, I'm not gonna name every blue object on this bus," said Pit, "I give up."

"It was Marth's hair," Link revealed.

Pit threw his arms up. "Aww, what? No fair." Link just snickered.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the back of the bus, Peach, Zelda, and Samus were gossiping and trying to ignore Falco's gross carsickness. "Oh my God," cried Peach, "No way!"

"But it's really true," Zelda told them both, "I heard it straight from the horse's mouth!"

"You mean he told you?" Samus inquired.

"No," replied Zelda, "I overheard him say it."

"Who was he telling?" asked Peach.

"No one. He was talking to himself again," Zelda answered.

"This certainly is interesting information," said Samus, peering over at Pit excitedly conversing with a much more calm Link in a distant seat. "I wonder if something will happen at the mall."

"Maybe..." said Peach, finger at her chin, "Perhaps we could help him."

"What do you mean?" asked Zelda.

"I mean we could _make_ something happen," explained Peach, "I mean, with the right amount of nudging, I'm sure we can spark _something_!"

"An excellent suggestion, Peach," Samus smiled. The three girls huddled together and discussed their secret plan.

"Hey, ladies!" shouted a voice, causing them to jump. "What are we talking about here?" They all whipped their heads around.

"Captain Falcon?!" Peach cried, "How the Hell did you get on the bus? I thought we got rid of you!"

"As you ladies may know, I am an excellent racer, so I was able to-" Falcon's explanation was cut off when Zelda opened the door at the back of the bus and Samus shoved him off.

"NOBODY LIKES YOU, CAPTAIN FALCON!" they all shouted in unison. Captain Falcon tried to retaliate, but was hit in the face with more of Falco's carsickness, getting a cheer from Fox and the girls.

* * *

Marth held a hand mirror in front of himself, smirking at his reflection. Ike couldn't take it anymore. He snatched the mirror away and threw it on the ground. "Hey!" shouted Marth, "What the Hell did you do that for?"

"You keep looking at yourself in the mirror and then putting it away, only to pull it out again, like, 10 seconds later," Ike replied, "You've been doing this for the entire bus ride now. You look fine. Stop."

"No!" yelled Marth. He leaned over Ike and reached desperately for the mirror laying on the bus floor. "I need that mirror!"

"Dude!" Ike cried, "Get the fuck off me! You're not getting your mirror back!" He tried to push Marth away with much resistance.

"First of all, watch your language! And second," Marth raised his bus so the entire bus could hear him, "I NEED MY MIRROR!"

"Ew, gross!" Ike heard someone shout in the back. He turned around. Popo and Nana were shielding each other's eyes.

Lucario pointed at them and shouted, "Dear God! Keep it in your pants, you two!"

"Huh?" said Ike. Then he looked down, and realized what was going on. "W-Wait! This isn't what it looks like!"

"You're disturbing the entire bus, you horny idiots!" Bowser roared.

Marth got off of Ike and sat up. "What the hell is going on? Why is everyone yelling at us?"

Ike unbuckled his seatbelt and stood in front of the bus. "Look, everyone. Marth wasn't doing _that_ to me! I just threw his mirror on the ground and then he reached over to grab it!"

Suddenly, the bus went over a bump in the road. Ike fell over, right on top of Marth's mirror.

"Get off of my mirror, you asshole!" Marth shouted, and he tackled Ike.

"I thought you told me to watch my language, jerk!" Ike yelled back. The two struggled and fought on the floor.

"Ugh! Get a room, you two!" Fox called from the back. Marth and Ike were two busy trying to kill each other to hear him, however. Everyone sighed.

Pit glanced outside. Once he realized where they were, he smiled. "Hey everyone," he shouted to catch the attention of the entire Smash Bus, "We finally made it to the mall!" Everyone cheered (except for Link, who was groaning at the thought of the mall). The bus pulled into the parking lot, and all of the Smashers hopped off the bus.

* * *

**Oh, Ike and Marth XD**

**Alright, that's chapter 2! It's funny, this fic is called "Link's Crazy Mall Adventure" and they haven't even stepped inside the mall yet. Mall antics will begin in the next chapter and I plan for them to take up most of the story. Sorry if the jokes in this one were a little lewd. I'll tone the suggestive stuff down next time (unless you guys like that kinda stuff and want me to keep going XD).**

**I also want to announce that I'm planning to add some romance to this story, as was subtly hinted by Peach, Zelda, and Samus earlier in this chapter. Nothing serious or anything, I just feel like throwing ships in here so I can write some more silly stuff! This includes slash and femslash (boy x boy and girl x girl), so if this makes you uncomfortable, you're a jerk and you probably shouldn't read this fic anymore.**

**Chapter 3 coming soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! Before I start I just wanna thank you all for reading this. It's my first fanfic so every view just makes me so excited! I hope you all continue to read and enjoy this fic because I'm working very hard on it and I want to make you guys happy! I wanted to post this earlier but I've been busy lately with graduation. Plus, I got Tomodachi Life the other day, so I've been hooked...XD. **

**Anyone else watch E3? I am sooo pumped for SSB4! I can't believe that Miis, Lady Palutena, and Pac-Man are in! It's too bad the Wii U version isn't coming out until the end of the year though :(**

**Also, my sincere apologies to any Captain Falcon fans I offended. I've got nothing against the guy, I just had the idea of using him for that particular story arc.**

**Anyway, sorry for being so late! Without further ado, here is chapter 3!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

All of the Smashers excitedly entered the mall. Mario stepped forward and called out to grab the attention of the whole group. "Attention everyone!" he said, "We should all-a split into groups for safety." At these words, Peach, Zelda, and Samus ditched the group and went off into the mall. Soon nearly the entire group had split up and travelled to separate areas of the mall, except for two Smashers: Link and Pit.

"_I'm stuck with him AGAIN?_" Link thought to himself.

"Well, Link, I guess it's just you and me!" Pit exclaimed, "Let's take a look around and stop in all of the cool stores!" Pit linked arms with Link and dragged him along. Link gave no resistance, since he had already given up on this trip anyway.

"_Ugh. I can't believe the girls made me do this..._" Link groaned in his head.

* * *

"Quit looking so mad," Marth said to the young man trailing behind him, "You're making me look bad."

"I'm making you look bad?" Ike retaliated, "Here I am stuck with the frilliest man on the planet at the mall! It's definitely more like _YOU_ making _ME_ look like a fucking joke!"

Marth gasped. "Excuse me?" He crossed his arms. "I am in no way 'frilly'. I'm just elegant and sophisticated, unlike you."

Ike grabbed Marth by the collar. "I am fucking too elegant and sophisticated, you ass!" he shouted, catching the attention of all of the people around them.

"Elegant people don't fucking swear all the god damn time!" Marth yelled back.

"YOU JUST FUCKING SWORE!" Ike cried, and he punched Marth in the face. Marth fought back by punching Ike in the nose, and the fight continued until both boys toppled over onto each other...right into the mall fountain.

"Hey! Hey!" barked the security cop approaching them, "You two can't make out in the fountain! You're disturbing the peace!"

Ike leapt up. "But we weren't making out!"

"Yeah, yeah," said the cop, "Just stop it or take it out to the car or else I'll ban you both from this mall." Marth and Ike, both soaking wet and still standing in the fountain, watched the security cop ride away on his Segway.

"I swear to God that I would rip your lungs out right now if I didn't want to stop at Macy's so badly," Marth hissed to Ike.

* * *

Falco and Fox strolled along inside the mall, looking for an interesting store to stop in. "Think they have a Hollister in here?" Falco asked Fox.

Fox cocked a brow. "A what?"

"Never mind," said Falco.

Suddenly, Fox shrieked. "Dude! What was that for?" Falco questioned.

Fox turned around to find a little girl tugging at his tail. She grinned from ear to ear. "I like your costume, mister!" she piped.

The girl was adorable, sure, but even cute little girls weren't allowed to touch Fox's tail. Nobody was. "Listen, kid, this isn't a costume," he said as he snatched his tail away from her, "My tail is not a toy."

"Sheesh, Fox," Falco said as he rolled his eyes, "Go easy on the kid."

The two continued walking around the mall. However, they began to slow down as they realized that everyone around them was staring at whispering. Suddenly, a man walked up to them. "Um, excuse me?" he asked them politely.

"Yes?" Fox and Falco replied in unison.

"Are you two lost?" he asked, "The furry convention isn't in this building. It's at the hotel across the street."

"F-Furry convention?!" Falco sputtered.

Fox was pissed. "We are _NOT_ furries! We are real animals god dammit!"

"Huh," said the man, "You two sure are...er...dedicated."

Fox had had it. This happened every time he went out in public. He grabbed the man by the collar. "WE ARE NOT FUCKING FURRIES!" he screamed right in the man's face.

"S-Security!" the man gulped.

Fox and Falco gasped. Fox dropped the man onto the ground and the two made a run for it.

* * *

Ganondorf and Bowser had become pretty friendly during their time at the Smash Manor. They were both big villains who loved to kidnap princesses. When they were together, they felt like they could drop the whole evil thing and really be themselves. The two walked throughout the mall, getting lots of horrified stares and even a few shrieks as they passed people.

"Ugh, what jerks," said Bowser to his friend, "Can't two guys walk around the mall in peace without people lookin' at 'em like they've got two heads?"

"It's unfortunate, really," Gandondorf agreed, "but sadly true. Discrimination against villains is a harsh reality we must face."

Bowser kicked over a nearby bench. "That's stupid! It's not like I'm gonna kidnap anyone! Not while I'm staying at the Manor, at least."

"I wouldn't let it bother us much. Can we stop in here for a moment?" Ganondorf said, motioning towards Joseph A. Bank, "I need myself a new suit."

"Bah, sure. Whatever," said Bowser, and he followed his friend inside the store.

A charming, bespectacled young man walked up to greet them. "Hi," he said, "and welcome to Joseph A. Ba-AAAAAAAAAUGH!" The man leapt when he looked up and saw the two villains staring down at him.

"Is...something wrong?" asked Bowser.

"C-Can I help you with anything?" was all the man could barely squeak.

"No," Ganondorf replied, "but thank you for offering." With that, Ganondorf and Bowser made their way further into the store.

"I don't get paid enough to put up with shit like this..." the man mumbled as he went to the back of the store.

* * *

Peach, Zelda, and Samus chatted and giggled as they walked along the mall. "I don't know about you two, but I'm hungry," said Zelda. Peach and Samus agreed, and the three girls went to go find the food court.

Peach was animatedly telling a story to her friends. "So then as soon as he pulls out of the car wash place, it starts raining! And let me tell you, he was pretty mad. I didn't hear the end of it until after dinner!"

"How unfortunate," Samus commented.

"For both parties," added Zelda.

"Yeah, it was awful," said Peach. She then looked up and pointed ahead. "Hey! There's the food court!"

Zelda's stomach growled. "Finally," she said, "I'm starving."

They decided on getting food from the Subway booth at the food court. The three Smashers sat down at a table with their sandwiches.

"So, whaddya think everyone else is up to right now?" Zelda asked the two.

"I'm not sure," said Samus.

"Maybe we'll bump into someone later!" said Peach.

"Yeah," said Zelda, and she took a bite of her sandwich.

"If you're wondering what the others are up to," spoke a voice, causing the girls to jump and Zelda to choke on her sandwich, "I saw Link and Pit head into a video game store on my way here!"

Peach looked up. "C-Captain Falcon?" she cried, staring at the man standing at their table as if he had sprouted another head.

"I thought we," Zelda said in-between coughs, "threw you off the bus!"

Captain Falcon let out a hearty laugh. "Oh, my fair maidens, you make me laugh!" he declared, "Nothing can stop Captain Falcon! Not even the passion of three beautiful young ladies!" Captain Falcon put his hand on Samus's shoulder, causing her to cringe and grimace. "Now," he began, "Which one of you lovely ladies would like to accompany me on a d-" He couldn't finish his sentence because Samus punched him in the nose.

"Don't touch me without my permission!" she hissed.

The three girls gave him a deathly stare. "NOBODY LIKES YOU, CAPTAIN FALCON!" they shouted in unison.

Captain Falcon writhed on the ground, hands cupped over his bloody nose. Zelda kicked him in the groin. "C'mon girls," she said, grabbing her tray of food, "Let's go sit somewhere else." Peach, Zelda, and Samus took their food and sat down at a table on the complete opposite side of the food court.

* * *

**Hehe...sorry again to all Captain Falcon fans. The girls are just not interested in his advances at all XD**

**And that's chapter 3! I intended on making it a little longer, but I suffered from severe writer's block as I was writing this chapter.**

**If any of you have any suggestions or advice for later chapters and mini-stories, don't hesitate to share! I love hearing what everyone has to say about my story, and I read every review! Getting a new review makes my whole day.**

**Chapter 4 will come soon! Thanks for reading my story so far and I hope you continue to do so!**


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